Surviving the Fury and the Shame

A failed romance is always a devastating experience for women and crushing if you have been dating a co-worker openly. When he abruptly dumps you for reasons you cannot fathom, you will never know where to look – at the ceiling or at the floor? The problem could have been handled differently and discreetly if the affair was with someone not connected with the office, but what can you do to survive the day-by-day encounters with your ex?

You cannot smash his head with one of your desk clocks, or erase his computer files just to get even. Though revenge is inviting, do not stoop to this level. Doing so would mar your professional image and annihilate chances for a promotion.

These handyl pointers from survivors are sensible solutions to your predicament:

* Act as if you are okay. Continue to be your usual cheerful self and focus on your work, never mind if there are raised eyebrows because your ex is chasing another girl at the water cooler.
* Secretly erase his picturefrom the digital frames of your atomic clocks at home and in the office. There is no reason to do this with fanfare. Replace it with your cat’s image to make you feel better.
* Be a professional. Don’t talk to him unless it is work-related; when you do, call him by his name preceded with a Mister, but smile to show the world you are not desperate.
* Do not quit your job no matter how much you want to get away. The backbiters will have their heyday if you do. But if the new job offers a bigger pay and a nice (read far away) location, grab it. Announce the reasons later to abort nasty speculations.
* Keep silent. Do not degrade yourself by blabbing. You do not have to give a blow-by-blow detail of your break-up to the girl in the next cubicle.
* Keep yourself busy and stay away from the water cooler until things die down, but be active in office activities and socials.
* Don’t expect you can forget him in a month. Sometimes it takes a year to mend emotionally. Fortunately, the pain just vanishes and you will be your normal self again, so why waste more tears?
* Avoid him but do not be too obvious about it; doing so would trigger a conflagration of speculations.
* RemoveGet rid of the desk accessories he gave you including that widget from his nautical table clocks collection.
* Staying cool despite your inner turmoil can boost your image because the boss sees he can rely on your performance even in traumatic situations. This is a plus if you’re aspiring for a promotion.

Surely keeping your poise has its rewards. After all, there is still a likelihood of a better relationship – but shun office romance. After the shame and the fury, would you have another office romance?