Ten Ways to Look Thin Fast

1. A solid-coloured A-line dress: Anything but a white A-line dress will ensure the remark ‘fabulous’ from everyone around, including black, blue, green, red, purple, yellow, gray, pink, you name it! Guaranteed! Let me say that one more time-do not wear white. Unless you are all bones, don’t even go there.

2. Black shoes teamed with black opaque tights: Aha! The Audrey Hepburn style. This classic look has been worn by Hollywood stars for decades. Perfect for an important business meeting. Perfect for a second date. Wear it on an evening out partying! Wear it on a first date! Guys love black. Trust Me!

3. Shapewear (cuts 10 pounds): Ah. Shapewear. The Foundation Garment. We all know how important it is to look fit and toned. And we all also know how difficult it is to keep your stomach sucked in for hours at a time. Shapewear is the one and only way for me to survive the onslaught of great clothes. No. It’s actually for the young and beautiful! Not only the overweight people wear shapewear! It’s for normal girls wanting to look extra sleek. If your boyfriend makes fun of you, check his closet, he’s probably wearing a Men’s Body Shaper}.

4. Wear a bra to lift your boobs: Saggy boobs won’t do you any good. When your momma told you to wear a corset, it was because she wasn’t liking your saggy boobs. Wrong Wearing a bra that pushes up your chest will give your figure a more streamlined look. Looking curvy is a good thing If I have to choose between voluptuous and saggy, I’d choose voluptuous any day. Your man would agree with me. Trust Me.

5. Fake tan: Who cares if it’s fake Who care’s if you didn’t get it baking under the sun, exposing yourself to potential skin cancer, and paying 800 bucks for a weekend in a Miami. A wonderful(if fake) tan will make you glow, make your clothes stand out and up the attraction points. Thank God for Tanning Beds!

6. V-neck sweater (no turtle/crew): So, if you don’t already know, turtle necks are not cool. No. The v-neck does wonders when you’re trying to hide a curvy figure and highlight your assets- the collarbone! You will get tons of compliments!

7. Curvy, not boxy, jacket: You would think this would be obvious, box means NO SHAPE. So dahlings, don’t make the boxy mistake.

8. A controlling camisole: Ah. It’s easy to wear, makes you sleeker, and helps back pain. It’ll also ensure you sit straighter at work.

9. Skirts five centimeters above the knee: Ah. Although it would seem that wearing a longer skirt makes you look thin, it doesn’t. Frumpy, contrary to what most deluded women think, is not attractive.

10. Loose, skinny belt over a long, thin sweater: Thick belts are out, but a thin belt over a soft sweater can go a long way. When it’s cold you don’t want to lose your shape, just because you are wearing a sweater, so instead wear a thin belt at the waist to guarantee an actual figure.