For many new parents, it can be very difficult to comprehend the change in their lives. The arrival of kids can make a huge difference and really change the way that they looked at the relationship and at the very structure of the partnership.

What may have been a perfectly happy marriage can become, rather quickly, a rocky road. Delicate adjustments are needed by both people here as they try and right the boat and this can apply whether you have had kids before, or not. A relationship will take a lot of maintenance to ensure that when children arrive, everything remains well grounded.

Whenever doubts arise, worries come to the surface or even anger bubbles up, it is important to take a step back and look at the overall picture. You’ve heard the phrase, “can’t see the wood for the trees”? This is particularly apt when applied to two frazzled parents who have to just keep going! Sometimes this leads to the need for additional jobs and causes parents to become complex role players. In a situation such as this, even more pressure can arise as each person tries to concentrate on their new role, to the detriment of the other relationships. In the case of new parents, the mum may put so much effort and attention into caring for the new arrival, that the marriage may not seem so important a priority any more.

Meanwhile, new dads can often feel a bit left out and surplus to requirements! In this situation, you might start to believe the mum is the one to look after the kids and step back. Subconsciously or otherwise, this may result in him backing away from the relationship as a whole, even though he thinks it is the right thing.

The most important thing for parents to do is to watch for warning signs and really understand their partner. Some of the symptoms include a quick temper, a feeling that one cannot cope and becoming irritable. The worst thing one can do is to leave any potential problems unchecked as they can quickly become unmanageable and dangerous.

It is always best to sit down when the kids are asleep or in school and have a heart-to-heart conversation with each other. Ask yourself whether you are being reasonable and ask the other for their honest input. Remember that it is very difficult to maintain the kind of lifestyle you may have enjoyed before the children came along and understand that you now have a different set of priorities in your life.

The most important point to remember is that it will take the efforts of the team to raise the children properly and both members need to realise how much effort this will take and how it is a joint venture. Give yourselves a pat on the back and never forget that you two represent the lead team in the family!

It’s not all doom and gloom The allocation of time must be based on quality and prioritisation. Can you remember when you had a nice weekend away together? That romantic dinner should be scheduled as often as everything allows and try your best to come up with small, but meaningful and romantic gifts or surprises for each other.

Experts can often help mums with their huge challenge ahead, especially those who are still working when all this madness is going on. Thankfully, online life coaching is a marvellous way to pick up some truly professional coaching, and when it comes to coaching for women, it’s the perfect place to turn when life becomes manic!

Amanda Alexander is Director of Coaching Mums and a highly acclaimed ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working moms who yearn for success, balance and fulfilment. Are you a juggling mom? Download our free eBook for working moms that will give you 5 simple and instant ways to balance your life right now!